Q: I’ve been dating a man for a little over a month.
His second marriage was the result of his getting the girl he was seeing pregnant. It lasted five very turbulent years. Their child is now 6 — and she also has three older children by another man.
My problem is that my boyfriend remains in contact with his three ex-stepchildren. In his words, “I divorced their mother, not them” and expects me to accept that those children are still his children for the rest of our lives.
His reasoning is that they’re his son’s siblings and they will always be a part of his life, as will his son’s mother. Is it fair to ask me to accept three former stepchildren? They really never were a family.
Read the answer…Home & Garden | Stepchildren still are family, even after divorce | Seattle Times Newspaper
* Argument over stepmum’s title goes to court
* Couple split when baby is four months old
* Mother argues dad “attempting to replace her”
AN Adelaide mother went to court to prevent her daughter from referring to her ex-husband’s new wife as “Mum” or “Mummy” or “my other Mummy”.
‘The woman, who cannot be named, argued that her ex-husband was deliberately undermining her role as their child’s mother, by encouraging his new wife to answer to the terms “Mum” and “Mummy” and “Mummy-D” (D being the first letter of the stepmother’s first name.)
# Treat them like they’re your own. No child likes to be disrespected! Let alone a stepchild. They may act like you’re unwelcome, but that may be because they assume you think that you are their ‘replacement Dad’. Ignore the discouragement, and just treat them like your own kids.
# Go easy on the discipline. They’ll hate you for sure if you constantly nag, nag, nag about their grades, or nag, nag, nag about uncompleted chores. In their minds, no matter how awesome you are, they aren’t yours. It’s your job to teach them otherwise. They’ll never appreciate you if you mother them.
# Do amazing things. You have to think about them. They are your precious angels. When you’re out at the store, call their mother and ask if she or the kid(s) need anything. Anything at all. Or, better yet, want anything. If you can’t find what they want, call again and ask for a cheaper/more commonly found replacement. (WARNING: Guessing the replacement is an absolute no-no! What if you buy the cheapest of cheap brands and end up wasting your money?)
Read more…How to Be a Good Step Dad – Wheretofindpedia
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