If you are separated from your children's mother being a father may
be hard, but there are some very important things that you can do for
your children. Here are some suggestions from the Parenting SA Parent
Easy Guide, 'Being a Dad.'
* Keep in touch with your children
even if it is painful to have to keep saying goodbye after you see
them. Your children need your love and care even though goodbyes are
hard.
* Sometimes it might seem as if it would be easier for
the children if you did not see them. If you are a caring father it
will be good for them to see you even if the comings and goings are
difficult.
* When the children are with you let them share your
life. Let them see that men can cook their food (it doesn't have to be
fancy) and take care of them. they will learn a lot about being a
father this way.
* Make the effort to learn to do things with your children.
*
Children will get more out of just being with you than expensive
presents and always going on exciting outings (although they may ask.)
* Be reliable about pickups and drop offs and sending back clothes Use give and take when it comes to making arrangements.
* Try not to send messages with the children or keep asking them questions about their mother.
*
Keep in touch – often. Phone and write and remember birthdays and
special occasions. Contact them when there a important school events
such as exams, or going for a job.
* Parents have the right to
separate from their partner but they still have the responsibility to
be a parent. Children have the right to be cared for by both parents,
even if you are not together.
More suggestions are offered in the Parent Easy Guide.
The following article was sent to me by DH in Townsville. You may
like to share something with the other stepparents on the mailing list.
Whilst browsing in the local op shop recently, the words
"relationship souvenirs" caught my eye in a book about second-time
relationships. It has taken me a few weeks of thinking about it, and
how to use this concept in our blended family.
