Divorce is difficult enough without the added frustration of trying to have a respectful co-parenting relationship.
Behaviors to follow as a constructive co-parent such as the following will ensure your sanity, reputation and most importantly your children’s emotional well-being.
1. If discussing important issues regarding the children is difficult, don’t hesitate to seek help from a third party. Consult a therapist, a member of the clergy, mediator or a friend you both have a trusting relationship with. There are many programs out there to help you deal with these types of issues.
2. It is very important to talk with each other and set clear boundaries about the roles you both will play in your children’s lives. The value of both of you in your children’s lives is essential and you each need to understand and respect that relationship for your children.
3. Leave the past where it is…in the past. You can’t solve problems if you are focused on the past. Your children need you here in the now. If you can’t discuss the issue at hand in a calm and respectful way, remove yourself.
This is sometimes very difficult to do but if you conduct yourself in a business type way them you keep your dignity and self respect. View your X the same way you would a business associate. You can make appointments to discuss issues, meet in a neutral location and always be prompt and courteous. Never allow yourself to resort to name calling, blaming, cursing or yelling. Keep negative emotions out of the equation and deal with them on your own time.
4. Hard as it may be try to see the situation from your X’s perspective. They also have concerns and fears and recognizing that will help you feel more empathetic and open to finding solutions to any problems that might arise.
5. The most important thing to consider is what your children would want. It may be hard to even be around your X but making the needs of your children your main priority will help establish the kind of relationship that benefits them.
Where both parents are so wrapped up in their own hurt, resentment and self-pity that they don’t see beyond their own needs the children suffer. In this situation, the children become invisible and used as pawns in the battle of the parents.
As a parent, you need to step up to the plate and be the parent your children need. There is no excuse for any children to have to deal with this by themselves.
Laval Denny has been writing since she learned the alphabet. She has Poems and Articles published. Laval has worked in the Communication industry since she entered the work force in the early 80’s. She has over 20 years of extensive customer service and communication experience.
