Put the blame on Mame.

That sums up how many of the women with stepchildren I interviewed for my book, Stepmonster, felt about the stepmother role. They told me:

• “The kids are hostile and rejecting no matter what I do. I know it’s not their fault. But it’s as if I’m not supposed to have any feelings about it, let alone discuss them.”
• “I can’t do anything right–if I buy them a present, they think I’m buying their love and if I don’t, I’m cold and unloving.”
• “My husband doesn’t have many rules–so I look super strict and mean if I ask them not to eat with their hands!”
• “Their mother says unkind things about me and calls every half hour while they’re here. So it’s hard to build a relationship with them.”

These women were no whiners–most had been trying to get stepmothering right for years, and all began their stepmothering journeys committed to forging a great relationship with his kids, whatever it took.

Read more…The Real Reason Children (and Adults) Hate their Stepmothers | Psychology Today