How to Survive Your Boyfriend’s Divorce: Loving Your Separated Man without Losing Your Mind
Great, helpful book on a sensitive subject August 5, 2009
Margaret L. Stewart (Connecticut)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This
is a really helpful book for someone involved with a man getting a
divorce. It really makes the woman feel in control and also makes her
think about why is she really dating an unavailable man.
Excellent June 3, 2009
Just lookin’ (Portland, OR USA)
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
This
book offers the perfect balance. It gives you a dose of reality
(“assume you’re the transitional woman”), but it also has some chapters
with very practical advice for those who decide to continue to date
separated men against the odds.
I do have two recommendations for the author (for future editions),
1. Give some examples of how to put the relationship “on hold.” It
sounds like it is typical for couples to decide to take a break till
the divorce papers are final. But finalized papers signal just the
“legal” end of the divorce; not the “emotional” end. How do you take a
break till the emotional issues are sorted out? Do you set a timeline
(say, 6 months after the finalized divorce) or do you wait till certain
emotional indicators are in place?
2. Most of the references to the “transitional woman” assumes that
you are the very first person to seriously date the divorcing man. But
sometimes, the second or third or fourth woman is a “transitional”
woman for him as well, because he still hasn’t completed his emotional
work to get over the turmoil of his divorce! With one man, I was his
second serious relationship post-separation; with another man, I was
his third. I would say that I was a “transitional” person for both of
them; with devastating consequences. The author could have offered more
clues/signs, to figure out whether the guy’s transitional phase is
over.
And one piece of advice to readers: GIVE A COPY OF THIS BOOK TO
YOUR GUY to read! The book might upset him, but it also might give him
some insight to himself, and learn to see the relationship from your
perspective.
Use your own judgment… February 19, 2008
R. Moore (Charleston, WV)
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
This
book had its good points, but I would suggest assessing your situation
and going from there. A lot of the things mentioned in the book did not
apply to me, so I am sure everyone is in a different situation.
Considering children involved, the divorce will take longer; and even
longer if there are a lot of assets. Good book to reference, but don’t
live by it.
Hits the nail right on the head February 15, 2008
Carolyn Johnson (Fairdale, KY)
1 out of 3 found this review helpful
I highly recommend this book to any woman that is contemplating this roller coaster ride of a relationship.
How to Survive Your Boyfriend’s Divorce December 4, 2007
Diane Byram (Tulsa OK)
4 out of 7 found this review helpful
This
is a great book but from personal experience – WAIT TILL THE DIVORCE IS
FINALED!!! He will be available to take your relationship to another
level. When you are dating a divorcing man or seperated man it is the
same as dating a married man. He isn’t available for you and you get
the leftover crumbs. He is emotionally wounded and there is a good
possibility that he will wound you by the time this drama is all said
and done. Love should be wonderful and carefree but when a man has a
divorce looming over his head he cannot be that wonderful person. He
hasn’t finished ending his previous relationship and there are
oftentimes unresolved feelings of some sort. I dated my guy for about a
year. He had been seperated from his ex for 2 years so I felt confident
that he had done some healing in that time – WRONG. The relationship
went from hot to cold to luke warm….he didn’t know what he wanted and
he just began to emotionally withdraw. It is painful to go through
that. He did nothing for me and everything for his ex. We as women tend
to be compassionate, understanding, and helpful sometimes at our own
expense. I loved my man dearly but I had finally come to a point in our
relationship where I needed his divorce to be DONE. I explained to him
that I could no longer see him until his divorce was done….He got
upset, stated that I hurt him….I tried to talk to him to get close
again but he was bitter, lonely, and hurt. He went out to the
bars…found another woman….finished his divorce within 6 months of
our break and married his new woman 6 months later…so a year after he
left me he remarried. It hurts. Trust me when I say…You DO NOT want
to be the rebound or transitional woman. It is far too painful. Just
knowing that she has all the good parts about him still hurts. While
this book offers man
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