Second Marriage Wedding Dress and Etiquette
Second Marriage Wedding Dress and Etiquette by Jean Bachcroft
Just
as with your first marriage, your second marriage is a new beginning
with your fiance. So it makes sense that many of the traditional
rituals and rules of etiquette apply. But which ones?
There is
no reason why you should not register for gifts, have a shower, or wear
a white, full-length gown at the altar. Whether or not you will choose
any of these options is now considered strictly a matter of personal
preference dictated by your style.
Charting a new course
When it comes to the ceremony, one
of the questions that experienced brides-to-be frequently ask
themselves is "Do I really want to do everything the same or do
something completely different?" If you were married in a civil
ceremony the first time, maybe it's time to consider a church ceremony,
complete with flower girls, a ring bearer, and attendants.
Because
you are certainly all-grown-up now, this is your chance to plan your
wedding exactly the way you want it to be, without any unnecessary
consideration for the wishes of parents. However, you will want to
discuss your feeling and carry out the planning with the groom.
On
the other hand, if the formality and style of your first wedding did
suite your taste, you should feel free to repeat those elements.
Nevertheless, since this is a time to look toward the future, rather
than returning to the past, don't get bogged down with history. Using
the same reception site or adding the same personal touches would be in
poor taste, so should be avoided.
Large ceremony or small
The size of your wedding party, as well as the number of guests you
will invite, is entirely up to you. With regard to the ceremony itself,
the rules of etiquette would be the same as if you were marrying for
the first time.
If
you are planning to invite more than 50 guests, arrange to have
attendants (groomsmen or ushers) on hand. If at all possible, you will
want to have one attendant for every 50 guests.
And Jenny
makes three
Children of the bride and/or groom are often a part of second
marriages. If either of you has children, invite them to participate in
the ceremony.
Teens
make nice junior ushers and junior bridesmaids. Very young daughters
can, of course, be flower girls, and little boys, ring bearers or
pages. Conversely, if the ceremony is to be small or the ages of the
children would make them unsuitable for these roles, you might simply
ask them to accompany you down the isle, or meet you at the altar.
Children
do not always welcome the opportunity to participate in wedding
ceremonies. If you children seem unwilling to play a role in the
ceremony, you should respect their feelings.
Incidentally, if you share custody with your ex-husband, let him know
about plans to include your children in the ceremony.
Inviting your ex-husband and former in-laws
If
you and your former in-laws are still on good terms, you may want to
invite them. However, you are under no obligation to do so. Consider
this as nothing more than a formality since they would not be expected
to accept.
Rarely would an ex-spouse be invited to the
ceremony, even if the two of you have remained friends. Think about it.
Inviting your ex-spouse to the ceremony leaves him with only two
choices, neither of which would be welcomed: accepting and feeling bad
or declining and looking bad.
A more sensible and considerate
approach would be to invite him to a private dinner, perhaps at your
home, after the ceremony and honeymoon.
© Copyright 2005
Bachcroft.com. Permission to reprint this article, as is, is granted as
long as the proper attribution (author's biography) is given and all
active hyperlinks remain intact.
About the Author
Jean Bachcroft is a former public relations director, founder of
Bachcroft and Aloha Labels, and the publisher and editor-in-chief of
Town and Country Shopping Bargains Magazine. For designer wedding,
holiday, and year-round mailing and return address labels, you can
visit her web sites at http://bachcroft.com and at http://alohalabels.com
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