Stepfamilies! Seek First To Understand Before You Seek To Be Understood
Stepfamilies! Seek First To Understand Before You Seek To Be Understood by Jo Ball – The Stepfamily Coach
As
every person is unique so is every family. As unique as a family is, so
are their challenges, worries and successes. It's easy to blame a
particular person for particular 'bad' behaviours but it's important to
reflect on why the behaviour might be there in the first place.
People in stepfamilies may be working with a whole array of emotions -
rejection, fear, sadness, anger, hurt, disappointment, jealousy….the
list could go on. It can be complex and complicated. When working with
a client earlier this week she was explaining some behaviours that she
didn't like from her partner. She found these behaviours were only
displayed when it came to matters of her daughter, his stepdaughter.
My client felt her partner was attacking her daughter with his
criticism and she would defend her to the BITTER end. It was the only
thing they really argued over and in an otherwise very deep and loving
relationship, there was disharmony.
Having been in the position her partner is now in I was able to
empathise with his reactions and understood where he was coming from,
so I shared my experiences with her to give her another perspective.
Hearing it from me, when emotions weren't running high, my client saw
why her partner was behaving in such a way. She felt relieved to be
able to empathise with him and even began to agree with his point of
view.
From here she was able to discuss these things with him, outside of an
argument, which enabled them to ease this turbulent whirlpool in an
otherwise calm flowing stream.
So next time someone does something you don't like pause for a while
and be curious as to why they might have done that. When emotions are
calm have a chat about it, in a non-judgemental way. Seek to understand
and it will help you to be understood.
You'll quickly notice a positive difference.
Want more help?
It doesn't need to be hard going in a stepfamily. You don't need to
feel pulled in every direction or be confused over how to deal with
issues that come up. I can help people in similar situations to you
build strong relationships and a happy home. To find out how visit
www.TheStepfamilyCoach.com. Wishing you a happy family.
Jo
www.TheStepfamilyCoach.com
About the Author
The Stepfamily Coach, Jo Ball, offers support and guidance to
divorced and separated parents and stepparents who are blending into a
new family. Grab your free report "7 Secrets For Blending A Family
Without The Stress And Strain" from www.TheStepfamilyCoach.com
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